You are probably in a very difficult period of your life, characterized by a lot of pain and suffering. You don’t understand why the girl you love so much has decided to leave you, and you want to know if there is still a way to get her back.
You already know what are the 5 mistakes you shouldn’t make if you want to get your ex back, so we are finally ready to look at how to get back the ex-girlfriend who dumped you and doesn’t want to be with you because she has lost interest in you. The strategy we would like to propose to you is based on seven steps.
The first thing to do is to break all contact with her for a while. This is the so-called “zero contact” rule. The main idea behind it is that if you continue to call and write to her after the break-up, you will show her that you are desperate and in need, that you have no life outside of her and no other interests.
We encourage you to apply this rule for three main reasons:
By not contacting her and keeping her at a distance, you will give her a chance to feel your lack, which is the basis for her to come back to you.
If you don’t talk to her for a while, you will have the opportunity to work on yourself and other areas of your life, which we will look at more closely in the next step.
If you do not contact her for a while, you can temporarily suspend your relationship in order to resume it when you can reveal yourself to her as a “new you”. If you don’t talk to each other for a while, you won’t be able to make her feel the difference between your old version (the one she has decided to throw away) and the new one (which we will create in a moment and which she won’t be able to resist). How long will it take to get back in touch with her?
We recommend that you wait three weeks, but this depends largely on the individual nature of your situation. Sometimes it is necessary to wait longer.
Working on yourself
Now that you’ve decided to temporarily break contact with your ex-girlfriend, it’s time to get to work!
The reason things have stopped working between you is because she is no longer interested in you, so you need to make as much effort as possible to become much more interesting, or to be that interesting guy she fell in love with one day.
Here are some of the things you can do:
Sign up at the gym
Diet if you are not in good physical shape.
Refresh your image (style, clothes, glasses, haircut etc)
But be careful: don’t forget that you don’t do these things just to look better in his eyes!
This will only be a necessary and inevitable consequence, but the real reason you start working on yourself is that you want to increase your self-confidence and improve your image.
Perhaps your self-confidence level has recently decreased or it has decreased because of your girlfriend’s separation (no wonder). But by working on yourself, you will regain at least a decent level of self-confidence, which is a necessary condition for building (or rebuilding) a healthy relationship.
Rediscover your identity
One of the main reasons you feel bad after your separation is that a significant part of your identity has left your life with it.
When you are alone after months or years of living together, it is quite normal to feel a little depressed and confused and to ask yourself questions such as, “What is the purpose of my life now?
And that’s why you need to start rediscovering your identity.
You know your identity best and will always know it, whether your girlfriend is with you or not.
As scientific research has shown, quickly defining your personality after the end of a relationship allows you to regain your mental well-being much more quickly.
Okay, but what exactly do I need to do?
Start by taking care of your relationship with your friends
Going out and having fun
Go back to his passions and hobbies that you neglected…
Take a course (salsa, theatre, yoga…) and meet new people
Do something new you’ve never done before
Travelling alone or with friends
Time with family
Rediscover your masculine energy
In addition to finding your own identity, you also need to find your own male energy.
What is masculine energy?
It is a sense of direction, a determination to follow one’s own path and achieve one’s goals. In other words, it is an approach to life that you have probably lost or that you need to learn to discover within yourself.
All the activities proposed in point 2 (working on yourself) and point 3 (rediscovering your identity) will help you to a large extent to regain your masculine energy.
In addition, there is another fundamental thing you need to do: set yourself goals.
Goals that have nothing to do with it, but whose achievement is really important to you! Once you have found your direction, you will be ready to set out to conquer the world, but she will be ready to accompany you on your path.
A sense of direction in life is one of the most important characteristics of a successful man, but it is only one of the many assets that attract women.
Start sending him signals
At the same time, as you work on yourself, you need to start sending indirect signals to show that something has changed in you.
These signals do not have to be very clear and should not be sent too soon, otherwise she will not see this as something genuine, but she will think that you are doing it just to get her attention.
So don’t exaggerate, but start with subtle messages:
Change your profile picture on Facebook or WhatsApp.
Upload photos and messages to Facebook or Instagram (or any other portal you both use) showing that there have been changes in your life that she didn’t know or expect to see.
Do something that will make her a little jealous (nothing too clear).
With these simple tips, you’re likely to get her attention and arouse her curiosity. You can even get her to need to talk to you, or at least create a solid basis for you to talk positively to her after the no-contact period is over.
Come back into her life as a “new you”.
Finally, the time has come to start appearing gradually in her life, but it has to be done by showing herself from a completely different side, different from the one she left.
Transform your character traits, which she might perceive as your weak point, into your strong point.
If she found you boring and a bit predictable, show her that you now do interesting things (martial arts, dancing, skydiving…).
If she criticized you for your clothes, show her that you have completely changed your style.
If she complained about your work, show her that you have started looking for a new one.
If you didn’t have any friends when you were together, show her that you have made contact and that you are going away much more often than before. But watch out for one thing…
You absolutely should not give her the impression: “Look at my ex… He’s doing everything he can to impress me… Poor guy, he’s probably not over his breakup yet”.
However, the effect you are looking for is: “My ex-boyfriend is pretty hot right now… Maybe I shouldn’t have left him… He has a much more interesting life now than when we were together.”
To get that “wow” effect in her eyes, here’s how to do it:
Try to make gradual, not too sudden changes that seem to be a natural and genuine transformation of your person (partly because of the end of your relationship, why not, but not only).
Respect the no-contact rule and don’t succumb to the temptation to contact her in advance.
All right, now… We have already discussed how you should introduce yourself to her when you return to her life. Now it’s time to think about how to get back in touch with her first.
First of all, if you have a group of friends or have the opportunity to meet them in a place, at school, university, work, the gym, or any other situation, try to make an accidental meeting so that a friendly and informal conversation results.
If you are not lucky enough to meet her accidentally, write her a message, ask how she is and start a friendly conversation with her. Exchange a few messages and then gradually resume a continuous conversation.
If she agrees to talk on the phone, keep a friendly tone at all times, without revealing at first your willingness to return to her.
When the time comes, offer her a meeting where you can begin to show her the new facets of yourself that we have already talked about.
Get it back
It’s time for you to get it back, but what should you do now?
At this stage, if you notice at least minimal interest in the “new you”, it’s a sign that you’ve played it well and that you have a good chance of getting it back.
You will therefore need to intensify her fascination with you and the emotions she feels for you until she literally falls into your arms.
Special cases to get your ex-girlfriend back
We would now like to briefly address a few specific cases, including yours, and provide some additional useful tips.
How to recover a disappointed girl?
If your ex-wife is disappointed or hurt by your behaviour, you are in a different situation from the one we have just described.
The girl did not leave you because of a loss of interest or feelings, but because of trust or stability, so the work you will have to do is completely different.
First, you need to understand what disappointed her (betrayed her? didn’t give her the sense of security she was looking for? didn’t give her enough attention? hurt her with any behaviour on your part).
The next steps are to tell her that you understood your mistake, let her keep some distance for a while, then go back to her, reactivate the feelings between you and get her back.
How do you get back her ex who left with another man?
Recovering a girl who already has another guy is certainly a huge challenge, mainly because it will be very difficult for you to control your emotions.
You will be able to feel humiliated, incredibly angry and maybe you want to give up your relationship without even trying to save her.
In this case too, the basic principle is to stay calm.
In addition, you will need to act more quickly to prevent your ex-girlfriend’s relationship with another man from becoming stronger.
How do you get back a girl who loves you more?
Has she told you that she doesn’t love you anymore?
You should not pay too much attention to this statement, because there are always ups and downs in your feelings. If she has told you that she no longer feels anything for you, this can only be a temporary phase, exacerbated by the fact that you have acted as if you were in need.
Making her feel your lack through the period of non-contact, and by showing herself as a “new you” in her life, you will give her many reasons to rediscover the feelings she has for you.
How do you get over an ex who wants to be alone?
If she told you she wanted to be alone, she lied to you. The real reason she left you or walked away from you is because she has lost interest in you.
Don’t believe the excuses she tries to make: “I need space to figure out what I want out of life”, “I don’t want to be with anyone”, “it’s not your fault, it’s mine and who I am” or “at this point I have to be alone to think about it”.
She doesn’t want to be alone: she wants to be with a man who will attract her. She unconsciously creates a distance between you because she no longer feels the fascination that made her want to be your partner.
Therefore, the process to get her back is exactly the same as the one described above.
How do you get your ex-wife back?
If you are separated from your wife because she no longer loves you, the way you should act is more or less the same as we have seen in recovering your ex-girlfriend.
In the case of an ex-wife, however, there are other aspects, some positive, some negative. Let’s take a look at them:
If she has decided to separate or wants a divorce, her decision is probably much deeper and more serious than the decision to break up with her boyfriend. You will need to become more involved to improve the situation, bring her closer to you and change her mind.
It is not always easy to apply the no-contact rule, as you may have children, property and other things in common that may require you to talk and stay in touch.
The same reasons that prevent you from taking advantage of the no-contact rule give you many opportunities to meet with her regularly and show her how you are changing and evolving, so that she can finally regain her interest.
So, in conclusion, accept the separation without making a scene, work on yourself, keep in touch with her and bring her closer to you!
How do you get a girl back after a long time?
Is it possible to get the first one back after months or years? Certainly yes, but you have to take into account what happened during that time.
If you tormented her all this time, if you wrote to her, if you cried on her shoulder and begged her to come back, you have certainly caused her to move away from you and you have no chance of getting her back.
But if you haven’t spoken to her in the last few months, you’ve somehow extended the period of non-contact too much, you still have a chance to get her back. This is the best time to send her a test message, to check her reaction and gradually reappear in her life as a “new you”.
How do you get a girl back from afar?
If you live far away from each other, the only tools you have to get her back are your phone and the internet.
After a period of lack of contact, write to her, try to establish a positive conversation without putting pressure on her and develop it gradually, having a deeper conversation about you.
If you can feel her and show her the progress you are making in your life, you will certainly persuade her to renew a relationship with you, even if you cannot see her live.
In conclusion, we would like to tell you that sometimes recovering an ex can be quite easy, especially if you are willing to do some soul-searching and start working on yourself quickly. Other times, unfortunately, it won’t be so easy and maybe in time you will find that you don’t want to get her back.
Make an attempt, because in life you should never give up getting what you really want, but remember that no one is necessary and above all no one is irreplaceable.
You are a human being and no one can forbid you to stand up and be happy, with or without it.
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